I’ll never forget the shell shock I felt after having a baby. Completely taken off guard with "the rare" circumstance where it seemed like everything that could have went wrong during birth, did. Sincerely, it was the most traumatic experience of my life. I know many other women feel the same. But what was maybe more paralyzing was the postpartum journey. With almost two weeks where I could hardly get out of bed, I was angry that no one had prepared me mentally for what was happening. I knew there are other women who have experienced an incredibly challenging postpartum, but often the conversation stopped after “it was hard". Maybe it was too hard for my friends to continue talking about.
Sharing is caring!
After birth, I asked my friends with kids why they didn’t tell me it was going to be that hard, and almost every one of them said they didn't want to scare me. Very few of them were willing to unfold their entire story. Which I understand, but my word, consider how much more mental prep you could help other women with! We must stop sugar coating and share our experiences! You can be respectful and still share your process while emphasizing that it’s different for everyone. At least most of it.
You aren't alone
As a first time mom, and also from what I've heard from mommas who have two and three kids -- you find a new, stronger version of yourself with each baby. Becoming a mom was a metamorphosis of feeling both innate purpose while also shedding certain aspects of myself. I was forced to look at everything with a different lens which is both beautiful and stretching. A whole new world unfolded of balancing God, my marriage, my home, a business, and raising a good human. All while trying to navigate a new body, time management and enjoying life! Of course it feels overwhelming. We are transforming, being rebirthed ourselves through motherhood! But my word is it amazing once we get in a groove and come to peace with this beautiful new version of ourselves.
From all of my conversations with women, every one of them experienced emotional, hormonal highs and lows after birth that they could barely put into words. Through hormonal chaos after my sons birth, I went to dr. google and typed in, “when will my hormones balance out after birth”. Several Wikipedia and hospital pages appeared with run of the mill answers. I needed a real life worded experience from another mom with genuine tips that helped her cope until her body regulated. I had to go digging in the trenches of Google to find a few blogs where women had shared their harrowing experiences. Most shared that it got better over time..that you just have to be patient, and eventually I would feel “normal” again but in the mean time it’s just plain hard. Not what I wanted to read, and not the answer I was looking for. I wanted tangible, real information and options that could help!
Collaboratively between myself and other mommas who have been willing to share their stories with me, we've felt like we're on an island by ourselves. Until we found out another woman felt the same way after birth. It made us feel less alone to know that we’ve all experienced different sides of this, I only wish I'd have known those stories prior to birth myself. The most common things that came up were panic, anxiety, depression, big mood swings, intrusive thoughts and thoughts of self harm. Knowing how many of my fellow mamas also endured similar things was both comforting and shocking. For some it came after their first kid, for others after their third. All the stories varied and none of them were exactly the same.

There ARE things we can do!
If that’s you as a first time mama, if you’re terrified of having another baby because your first experience with postpartum created trauma, or if you’re still grappling with it after a couple years of having kids — I’m here to give some tips that I found work and have collected from multiple women throughout the last year of my journey. Most importantly I want you to know you aren’t alone. You’re not crazy, and there ARE things you can do to regulate your body and mind again.
1. Jesus. Jesus. Jesus.
I prayed more than I had for five months straight than I have in all my life. I memorized scripture and had it at my right hand at all times. It kept me going, grounded and my heart posture right even when my hormones were running amock! God is love, so going to the source of it filled me up enough with love to keep going. Some days, moment by moment. He's always there.
2. Don’t exit out of this please. I promise I won’t try to sell you young living LOL…but, after swearing I’d “never use essential oils because they’re a pyramid scheme”, it actually aided in my healing process. Without the suggestion from my Doula, I actually don’t know how I would have made it through. Just two oils in particular. I use progessence and endoflex for hormone support, and truly felt like a new woman the first day I tried it within my first week PP. If you're on the fence, there's no harm in trying!
3. BONE BROTH! That deserved all caps! This helped my body heal quicker from physical recovery faster than anything else, and who doesn’t love a warm cup of soup when they don’t feel great? It 1000% helped my body recover from hemorrhaging by restoring minerals as well as helping my bones get stronger after muscle loss through pregnancy. Yay for calcium and collagen! It’s magical and the benefits are endless - I drank it for two weeks straight!
4. Go outside! Even if you can’t walk from pain. Sit. Breathe. Cry. It will help tremendously. Let yourself sit in the wild feelings running rampant and pray. Don’t forget to remind yourself that you just did the hardest thing in your life. You’re incredible, strong and deserve to process and rest so that you can be the best momma!
5. If you need to, get on medication. The amount of women who are on medication for postpartum depression, anxiety or otherwise is mind blowing when you actually start finding out! It isn’t for everyone, but you know what you need. Do what’s best for you and don't prolong it if it isn't getting better with natural aids! Medicine can get such a bad wrap depending on who you talk to, so don’t talk to just anyone! The chats I've had with other moms made me realize how discouraged mommas get if it comes to the point of needing medication. As if it's to be kept hush hush and they should be ashamed. That's garbage. The courage of getting to the place where you take initiative for yourself and your family, to try and be a better version of yourself and not stay where you’re at is brave. But it’s also normal. God made medicine for a reason and it’s an amazing resource. You’re not less of a mother or weak in any aspect, your body just underwent a physiological change and might need assistance in regulating. So if anything, reaching out is nothing but evidence of how strong you are to have gotten to the point of realizing you need more help. Prayer, fresh air + sunshine, essential oils, bone broth, all of these help tremendously but sometimes you just need something more. And that's ok!
It truly does get better, and having tools is so important to begin healing. Whether you’re in the thick of it, are walking through IVF, miscarriage or just had a a sweet babe, I’d give you a big hug if I could! Share your heart and experience so that other women don’t feel like someone blind folded them through their journey of motherhood. It’s not taboo, and trying to act like it’s all roses when it’s not doesn’t help anyone. Victory requires vulnerability! If there's any way I can pray for you, please email me!

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